Coping 101

To pass the hours, to try to hold on to some semblance of normalcy, Grant and I have been keeping busy. Keeping our hands and minds busy with the sometimes mindless work of renovating and decorating our home (aka 'the money pit').
Those of you that don't know us, I should fill you in. We moved to our little town in May of last year. We were lucky (we feel) to get a house just outside the booming Saskatoon market for a somewhat reasonable price.
However, the house itself, needs a lot of work. Which is something we had looked forward to, but now there's a sense of urgency...
a feeling like, if we don't keep working on projects, the dark shadow of grief we feel watching us, will consume us.
It may sound dramatic.
And honestly, it is.
The evenings are the worst. When you lay your head on your pillow and you let your guard down to rest. The memories of Reece creep in and you realize the sickening reality, that you need to face another minute, another day, a life, without her.
SO, up out of bed I go... to the basement to work on our current reno.

I know some people out there, in the world of arm chair psychology, will likely be thinking right now "Gee Ange, how unhealthy. Avoidance is not the way to ...."

to what?

"acceptance?" to "cope?"

Our awful reality is not something that I nor Grant will ever 'accept'.

We just hope that eventually, there will be enough time between us and December 27th, 2007, that the pain will be a little lessened. And we will be able to look at Reecey's pictures and videos without feeling like someone just gutted us.

I really hope that sounds as painful as it truly feels.

And take it from me- this is definitely an effective way to 'cope'. And I hope none of you ever have to try it.

To refocus-

I thought I'd post some pictures of our 'coping'. The first reno, was the 'girls' room. Since we moved, Aiden would not sleep in her room alone and has been in our room for months.. so we thought we'd put them together. Before Christmas be picked up a well-loved bunk bed, low enough that if Reece fell off she wouldn't hurt herself too much (she was a climber). The bedding of course is a circus theme for Reece's bed and a Pricess meets Prince Charming theme for Aiden's (eyeroll).

Grant tore out the walls and put up new ones and new ceiling. He then had the 'fun' job of taping and mudding. He did all the work and I just picked out all the 'stuff'. I quite enjoyed this reno! haha... but basement is a different story. It is now called "THE MAN ROOM". We are about 1/2 way through that reno, pictures will soon follow!
Here's Aiden's new room, before & after.

AFTER: