Home & Gift Results!

Have you ever wondered..."hmm, I wonder what $2800 worth of Home & Gift stuff would look like"? Well! Here's your answer!!
Our kick-off fundraiser was a success. We raised over $600 for the park. And lots of ladies had fun doing a little shopping! I still have a few deliveries to make, but hopefully everything will be gone in the next day or so.
Not a day too soon, as my parents are going to be staying with us for a few days before they head east- permanently!
Yep, for those of you that haven't heard yet, my parents are moving across country. I would be sad, but I'm just too jealous at this point! They can see the ocean from their new house. I can just smell the salt air thinking about it! SO lucky.
Well, this was just a quick post to let everyone know we are still working hard on fundraising events. The scrapraiser initially planned for this weekend has been cancelled due to low registration. However, we are very busy working on rounding up prizes and entrants for our golf tournament on June 28th. I've also been spending time 'ebaying' for a 1950's dress for the dance on May 3rd! That's right- get those poodle skirts and skinny ties out- its a theme dance! You can even get your picture taken at the dance! Should be fun. Tickets will be available right away! $10.

Run Run as Fast as You Can...

Sorry to those that have been waiting for an update but as you can imagine life has spun out of control in the Ryde household since February!
Grant has been re-decorating and subbing, I have been trying to work full time, and all-the-while my thoughts are focussed (fuzzy but yet focussed!) on the task at hand- get money for the park! It seems this hurried pace is both my enemy and friend.
By keeping busy I can avoid thoughts of Dec 27th that creep up, or the feeling of emptiness in my gut when I think of her standing in the living room holding her blankie an trying to give Barney kisses and hugs through the TV.
Needless to say, this hurried pace, runs you down. To the point where your defences are gone, and those feelings of desperation, amputation and despair overwhelm you.
This happened yesterday, I left work early, feeling sick both physically and mentally. (Only to find my car battery dead- which is an another bonus to my day!)
Once I got on the road, I was driving up College drive, thinking how many times I travelled that stretch to get Aiden & Reece from their sitter in the city. And the emptiness took over.
Realizing I was driving not home, but to a house that was once a home, and now is just Reeceless. If you didn't know Reece, then you can't possibly imagine what that feeling is. And for those of you that knew her, I don't need to explain.

So, I really don't know if this blogging is helping at all with the grieving process. I know that I find it hard to go to the computer if that is my intention as I know I will touch sore spot that I fight around the clock to avoid.

But here's the good stuff, what everyone wants to know- what's going on, what will the park look like etc etc.
Well - it's coming!! On the weekend friends and I went to see Sandy with BlueImp and we re-designed our main play structure. I hope that within a week I can have an actual picture on here to show everyone! We still don't know the exact amount we need to fundraise but we feel the initial goal of $40,000 should be adequate, when we toss in ground prep & landscaping.
So far we have $1200 in the bank, this includes the first few personal donations and the $600 made on the Home & Gift party (thanks to Kristen Shoemaker from Martensville with Home & Gift- we'll be doing it again next catalogue! I would encourage everyone to host one of these parties as a fundraiser honestly if enough people did it we could have half the park paid for!! 30% of regular sales goes to the fundraiser.)

There are a number of personal donations that have been forwarded on to the Town Office. And we have a PubCrawl Fundraiser this Friday in partnership with the PAA program in the College of Education - BIG thanks to Rebecca & Heidi for making this happen! I hope to see lots of old friends at the Hose on Friday - be there by 8:30 at the latest tickets are $10, I would suggest you call me & get one prior!

The Dundurn School Community Council contacted Grant to give him some FANTASTIC news. They are doing a Vesey's seeds fundraiser through the school; with proceeds going to the Park Fund. It was a successful fundraiser last year, allowing them to purchase a sign for the front yard of the school.

Grant started thinking of ideas for a Golf Tournament (to be held likely late summer, as fundraising will take a break for the month of July). More details to come. But you can be sure this will be 'a go' considering this family!! We of course will be recruiting all the Rydes (they ALL golf!! - I'm sure it's a sickness of some kind) And hopefully Uncle Steve & Auntie Vanessa will be our 'co-organizers' on this one!

On our little excursion to plan the park this weekend, I mentioned to Cassy & Annette, that Grant and I jumped into this without second thought. I suppose we subconsciously knew that we would have friends and family step up. And you certainly have!! It's fantastic. Each event we have, is basically 'over seen' by a friend or family member who is in direct contact with us, and we work together in promoting the event.
I would like to thank publicly those people right now, and will do for others, as the year goes on:

BIG APPLAUSE FOR THESE VOLUNTEERS!!

Pam Lasell- Scrapbook Marathon March 29th 10-10 tickets $25 MUST pre-register
Rebecca Ryde & College of Ed PAA Program- Pub Crawl March 14th tickets $10
Cassy Lindberg-Scott & Annette Hamilton- designing the park structure!
Charlotte Hawes- 'for taking the bull by the horns AND JUST DOIN' IT!- 1950's Dance, May 3rd Dundurn Hall- tickets only $10!!
The Dundurn Lions & the band "the 3 Canadians" for workin' the dance- you rock!
Auntie Erin- for organizing a fundraiser run in Victoria!


There are of course, many others to thank and many others with 'things in the works'- there time will come!

LASTLY- Grant has a great quote on his email I want to share, it's definitely a Reeceism-

"If you want to make some one else happy, practice compassion.
If you want to be happy practice compassion."

Reece Ryde Memorial Park Fund

It's Official!!!

Sunday the Town office passed a motion to support our Fund by issuing tax receipts for donations.
Tuesday the Principal of the elementary school said he supports the idea as well!

Please pass on the following info to anyone that you think may want to donate to the fund.
Keep in mind there will be a variety of fundraising activities taking place over the next year as well!

Donation can be made to:

The Town of Dundurn
Box 185
300 Third Avenue
Dundurn SK S0K 1K0
Please make sure to note it is for the Reece Ryde Memorial Park Fund!

Coping 101

To pass the hours, to try to hold on to some semblance of normalcy, Grant and I have been keeping busy. Keeping our hands and minds busy with the sometimes mindless work of renovating and decorating our home (aka 'the money pit').
Those of you that don't know us, I should fill you in. We moved to our little town in May of last year. We were lucky (we feel) to get a house just outside the booming Saskatoon market for a somewhat reasonable price.
However, the house itself, needs a lot of work. Which is something we had looked forward to, but now there's a sense of urgency...
a feeling like, if we don't keep working on projects, the dark shadow of grief we feel watching us, will consume us.
It may sound dramatic.
And honestly, it is.
The evenings are the worst. When you lay your head on your pillow and you let your guard down to rest. The memories of Reece creep in and you realize the sickening reality, that you need to face another minute, another day, a life, without her.
SO, up out of bed I go... to the basement to work on our current reno.

I know some people out there, in the world of arm chair psychology, will likely be thinking right now "Gee Ange, how unhealthy. Avoidance is not the way to ...."

to what?

"acceptance?" to "cope?"

Our awful reality is not something that I nor Grant will ever 'accept'.

We just hope that eventually, there will be enough time between us and December 27th, 2007, that the pain will be a little lessened. And we will be able to look at Reecey's pictures and videos without feeling like someone just gutted us.

I really hope that sounds as painful as it truly feels.

And take it from me- this is definitely an effective way to 'cope'. And I hope none of you ever have to try it.

To refocus-

I thought I'd post some pictures of our 'coping'. The first reno, was the 'girls' room. Since we moved, Aiden would not sleep in her room alone and has been in our room for months.. so we thought we'd put them together. Before Christmas be picked up a well-loved bunk bed, low enough that if Reece fell off she wouldn't hurt herself too much (she was a climber). The bedding of course is a circus theme for Reece's bed and a Pricess meets Prince Charming theme for Aiden's (eyeroll).

Grant tore out the walls and put up new ones and new ceiling. He then had the 'fun' job of taping and mudding. He did all the work and I just picked out all the 'stuff'. I quite enjoyed this reno! haha... but basement is a different story. It is now called "THE MAN ROOM". We are about 1/2 way through that reno, pictures will soon follow!
Here's Aiden's new room, before & after.

AFTER:

Resolutions - revised!

A lot can happen in just 6 days!

I am excited to let everyone know that Grant and I have decided to start the Reece Ryde Memorial Park FUND.
After many late nights of thinking and stressing over starting a Foundation... I felt like that would be too overwhelming. Not only would it take at least 6 months to set up, we would have to set up a 'board' to over see the Foundation. And once you have a Foundation, you are forever tied to it.

I didn't want it to define us.

I also don't want to 'drag out' the grieving process, by continually doing things in her memory. Her image, her memory, her spirit are forever tattooed on my heart; that is what defines who I am (and who WE are).

We've decided to stick with the park idea. And we are so excited about it!

We've got a preliminary design picked out. And we have a general idea of cost... but we still need to meet with the company rep and get a plan drawn up, figure out expenses for everything other than the basic 'toys' like, sand, deliver, labour...etc.

BUT today we got everything officially started by meeting with our Town Council. They were completely supportive and agreed to the idea right away. Which was SO fantastic.

I really wasn't sure if they would support it or not and I'm positive I've ever been so nervous in my life! I couldn't stop shaking after we left!! The first thing Kathy asked me when we left was "How are your knees?" haha

The only 'glitch' is that the spot we would like for the park is not on town-owned property. It actually belongs to the school board. So before we start fundraising, we will see if the School Board let the town use the land for the park. Hopefully they will, as the park will be for ages 2-5, so the Kindy kids can walk over and use it.

We will post again as soon as we know anything!

Thanks so much to all of you for checking in on the blog, and sending words of enthusiasm and support for this park idea.

With all our hearts- Ange, Grant & Aiden

Resolutions.

I have made many resolutions over the years. Resolutions to get healthy, to work out, to learn to snowboard, to be 'more girly'... needless to say, most of my good intentions quickly fall to the wayside as life's hectic pace flings me into fast forward with simple day-to-day living.

Over the past couple weeks my mind has been twirling with ideas, of resolutions for 2008. Mainly ways to divert my thinking onto mindless yet productive tasks ("learn to crochet" or "learn to garden"), hobbies I've always admired but never would commit to do because of my self-consciousness ("learn to play guitar" and "take that French class I've inquired about 4 years running and have never actually signed up for"), past times I've started but have let sit on the 'back burner' while I deal with laundry or laze on the couch ("start and actually finish reading a book!", "finish all of those scrapbook pages")...

Well friends, I am writing today to publicly commit to a huge endeavor!

And NO I'm not training for a marathon (sorry Margaret- you inspire me, but I'd much rather stand on the sidelines and hand you water than get sweaty myself! Besides- this is Saskatchewan, anything that requires me to leave the house to 'train' between the months of October and May is not on my 'maybe' list!

Nope- this is an endeavour that will hopefully have a profound and long lasting impact on our little town and the little people that live in it!

After discussing it with Grant, I am going to create the Reece Ryde Memorial Foundation.
This foundation's purpose will be to raise funds to purchase items to enhance the lives of children in our community. The first 'to do' item is to build a park for children ages 2-5. Other 'to-dos' are to purchase items for the First Responders and Fire Department (assuming they have a wish list- but what small town group doesn't!?!)
I have looked into the costs of park equipment... and my only comment on that is: "yikes".
There is some insanely fun park equipment out there. But even a modest park is going to run about $30,000. I still have to approach the Town Council to see if they would be willing to accept the gift and if they would provide a site for the park (hopefully close to the existing school park which is for 'big kids' (5-12) that way parents have a one stop play area.
I've been scouring the catalogues picking out items that Reecey would have liked. Lots of rock walls and swings!

So there you have it, I'm committed, and to quote myself "it's official".

On a side note,

I truly wish it to be known how deeply touched Grant and I (and our families) are to read the comments, emails, blog posts, letters and cards we have received. I remember a few years ago, while dealing with the sadness of the loss of a co-worker and friend from breast cancer, I often thought, do my friends know just how deeply I care for each of them, although we may only catch up every few years?
Now I know.

We want each of you to know you are in our hearts, each of you in a special and unique way, and thank you again.

Below I am going to attach another video of Reece (just a tidbit- but we took almost 10,000 pictures on our camera 95% of those of the girls, since May 06!)
this particular video is brought to you by popular demand, and had apparently changed the way Auntie Erin hears the rain in BC :) And I'm thinking down the road perhaps the Reece Ryde Memorial Fund will have to raise funds for a spray park!

Much love.
Ange & Grant






FYI- She is saying "NO!...SPIKE!" at the beginning. Spike is the dog at her sitters that she liked to boss around ;) Dunno where she got that bossy streak from?!

Process of Elimination

Here's the latest:

Our family Doctor talked to the Coroner. Seeing as we were desperate to know all that we could. She said they ruled out anything 'congenital', Reece's blood work came back "normal", it wasn't cancer, it wasn't a heart defect, it wasn't an allergic reaction to something in the house, the bacterial culture from her ear showed that the anti-biotics she had started had in fact kicked in...

so what does that leave us with?

WELL- Meningitis or Pneumonia cannot be ruled out at this point. Because she was on a 'second line' antibiotic, it could have masked the infection(s?).

The waiting continues.

Some consolation can be taken from the fact that it is taking them this long to figure it out- obviously taking her to emergency that night would not have changed the inevitable outcome.

Below is a video from early this summer, the drives home were something to get used to for our girls. Aiden would fall asleep once we hit the highway, and Reece would scream (she never liked being strapped into a car seat!) So to keep Reece appeased the chocolate-covered-lady-finger cookies would flow freely to the back seat!